Yesterday, July 2nd, was the day I’ve missed her. Not that I never missed her before. There are days that she comes more to my thoughts than usual, but yesterday was different. Yesterday it was her day. From start to finish, it was all about her. I’ve never cried so many times for such simple reasons before. I’ve never felt like talking this much to her, after the break up, as much as I wanted yesterday. Charlie Puth was a big part of my day, because “We Don’t Talk Anymore” was the song I’ve heard the most all day. Oh, yeah, listening to Lorde is being so hard to me. Melodrama is an album that hits me like a sharp spear.

Oh God, I’ve published it by mistake before finish writing it.

Continuing, living without you is the hardest thing ever. I used to hate you after your father made me believe that you were suing me, but after I discovered the real story, a wave of positive thoughts about you hit me. It was refreshing at first, but I’ve drowned. It hurted. It felt like crying underwater. The oxygen was coming out, and water was coming in.

I forgot your voice. I wanna die. I can only remember your face if I remember of certain moments of our lives. I forgot your smell. Your touch. U. I completely forgot what is putting you to bed, and waking up to talk with you. I forgot how it is to run home after school or work, to talk with you. Sometimes I’ve even called you while I was on my way back home, because I couldn’t wait. I forgot.

I wanna hear you. I wanna look at your face. I wanna kiss you. I wanna hug you. I really wanna hug you. I want you hug you so much. I wanna lay down in bed naked, feeling my warm body contrast with the cold of yours. I wanna touch our feets together. I want to kiss you good morning. I wanna sing you good night. I wanna be with you.

I miss you. A lot.

Yesterday, I realized… I love you.

Sincerely,

Mabo